How do I tell a pushy mom to stop dropping her kid off and expecting me to give him a ride?
Posted in Ice Skates For Kids on Aug 1st, 2012 | 10 commentsQuestion by Homeschool Mom: How do I tell a pushy mom to stop dropping her kid off and expecting me to give him a ride?
One of the things my sons, 13 and 14, most look forward to is Friday homeschoolers’ skate day at the ice rink near us. The kids skate in the morning and, more recently, we go to a computer gaming place in the afternoon, where they play computer games with their friends.
One father has started dropping off his 16 year old son at the rink in the morning on his way to work. When the skating time is over, her son stuffs his skate bag into my car, hands me a 5 dollar bill and tells me what he wants for lunch on the way to the gaming place. His mother waits for him in her car in the parking lot when the gaming afternoon is over. The first time this happened, I told him that I wasn’t responsible for getting his lunch, but I did anyway. I mean, “Bob” is over six feet tall and must weigh upwards of 200 pounds, but he is still just a kid, and I know that I should talk to his parents about just dropping him off and assuming that I will drive him to the gaming place and get his lunch.
Thanks, everyone:
I KNOW that I DO need to get a backbone. I feel bad for the kid, but he is loud and rude. I’m uncomfortable around him, I don’t like my boys around him, and his parents just don’t respond to subtlety. Not that I see them to confront — as I said, his dad drops him off if he sees my car in the skating parking lot. His mom picks him up in the gaming store parking lot. I WILL try to catch her this time.
I like the idea of saying that we have errands or the car is full, but this prevents me from offering a ride once in a while to the kids that ARE my sons’ friends. Besides, this kid WILL say, “I’ll come along for the errands.” or peer into my car and say, “It’s not full!”
He was kicked out of a homeschooling group with older kids (he’s 16, my boys, 13,14.) because of language and behavior, and he’s attached himself to us. I DON’T like him, and I feel guilty not liking a 16yo kid and his rough, clueless parents.
Carpooling: No. My sons in their car over my dead body.
Best answer:
Answer by njyecats
just tell him you can’t, tell him you have an errand to run first or there’s so much stuff in the car there’s no room.. He’s old enough to call his father and ask him for a ride.
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10 Responses to “ “How do I tell a pushy mom to stop dropping her kid off and expecting me to give him a ride?”
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you have the same problem i do i am to nice. try to get some back bone and just tell his parents no.
don’t go this week and don’t tell them or just say you know this week we have some family things to take care of and can’t take your son. Make this a habit
You may suggest that you carpool with “Bob’s” mother, by saying that you need the gas money. This way, the mother will take it as a completely normal response instead of a stressed one. Good Luck!
switch up your schedule for a week. sorry bob looks like you’re walkin
That’s a load and his parents know it. Still, they’ll continue to do it until you say no. It’s hard…I know. You don’t want to be mean or cause a problem, but remember…they didn’t give your feelings a second thought when they put that burden on you. I mean…could you even IMAGINE handing your own kids $ 5 and telling them when the gaming is over, to just get in Bob’s mother’s car…and tell her she needs to take them home today?
You sound great – I am also home schooling my daughter. And you also sound right – you should speak to his parents. I know it’s difficult to find the right tone to address this… What about writing a simple note stating (kindly) that you feel you are being taken for granted and possibly taken advantage of, and asking the parents to meet with you to discuss options? I wish you the best of luck. Don’t feel intimidated, sweetie. You can do this.
Too bad for that kid. It’ not his fault that his parents are more concerned with their schedules. They probably think that this is the way for him to get out and make friends with other homeschoolers. Maybe a regular school, with a bus, and a more structured routine with others would be better for them. You could make that suggestion.
Secretly arrange a place and time to collect your own kids…and make sure “Bob” doesn’t know about it..
This may seem cruel, but Bob is old enough to sort out his own transport…
Just the way your opening line is. Tell her/him that he’s not your kid. Just that simple. If the “parents” dont like it, thats not your problem.
You are being used. Tell Bob and his parents that if you wanted three kids you would have had them. Also stop him from putting his things in your car and taking the money and buying him lunch.